BUZZLINE!! TNTM goes "boomshakalaka" at the box office!!

"IT'S TIME FOR NINJITSU!"

A generation of American children remember that as the battle cry of the NINJA MUTANT TURTLE FORCE, the daring gang of subterranean martial artists who frequently teamed with guest stars the Harlem Globetrotters to take a serious "bite out of crime!"

Well, the beloved memory of the turts didn't go so dim as to prevent their new blockbuster live-action mega-tacular from narrowly besting LAST MIMSEE to become America's reigning box office king!

The buzzfires under this pot of turtle soup have gone white hot, and don't be surprised if later this year they order a large Greek salad with OSCAR!!

Between the wild hogs and the turtles, it looks like this year's race to Oscar will be a real "zoo!"

Like the turtles say, "LET'S TRY OUR BEST!" Agreed, boys, and "SCHWING!"

This is madness? No, THIS...IS...OSCAR!!!!!!

GERARD BUTLER, the hand that rocked TOMB RAIDER: THE CRADLE OF LIFE, is back in the saddle again as KING LEONIDAS proving that Hollywood's lucky number is THE 300.

Though cruel fate had given Butler's OSCAR hopes for DRACULA 2000 a big bite in the neck, turning them into spiteful, angry undead creatures of the night, OBPSF thinks that this new blockbuster is anything but funny math. Our scientist's best estimates have the number of OSCARS owed to Butler at 300+2000=2300!!!

Prepare for glory? More like PREPARE FOR OSCAR!

MOMMA MIA! Italia no like-a de OSCARS??

Oscar under fire!

RAI International pulled a real-life ITALIAN JOB on Oscar when U.S. District Court Judge Audrey Collins decided in favor of the broadcaster, who was sullying the beloved golden idol with the inane "Wine Oscars," "Fashion Oscars," and "Award Show Oscars" (swept for the past seven years by the People's Choice Awards), among others.

The defendants argued that the term "OSCAR!," while quite specific in English, could be used quite generically in Italian!!

To which I say, como dices, paisan! If I may put in my own due lire, there ain't nothin' generic about OSCAR, the sport of kings! Konnichiwa?

BUZZ ALERT! -- Could this result in beloved Holocaust spoofster Roberto "Presto Change-o!" Beninini being stripped of his past Oscar honors?? STAY TUNED!!

SXSW: Brad Delp Memorial Keynote

OSCAR was lowered to half-staff today in rememberance of BOSTON front man and long time vegitarian BRAD DELP.

NEW HAMPSHIRE authorities have not yet named any witnesses in the ongoing investigation. But OSCAR BPSF insiders say the quotable singer left one final composition scrawled beside his body: "CURSE YOU PELICAN BRIEF!!!"

Baudrillard "KLUMPED" by Pelican Brief Curse?

JEAN BAUDRILLARD, known to OSCAR fans everywhere as the man behind THE MATRIX and THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS, died in his Hoboken apartment today at the age of either 77 or 10,000,000, depending on which version of the legend you believe.

Cineast, gourmand, and all around OSCAR fanatic DAVID DENBY had this to say when asked about his tragic death: "To those who so foolishly doubted The Pelican Brief Curse -- including the monsieur himself, god rest his soul and his spear of destiny he was impaled with -- I have only this to say: Welcome to the desert of the real."

Could there be some BUDDY LOVE lost between the two? OBPSF thinks this FLUBBERED critic MEANT to say welcome to the desert of KEEPING it real!

OBPSF Review: "Hannibal Rising" . . . to accept OSCAR??

"Hannibal Rising" isn't just a spooktastic chiller; it's heavily "fava"'ed to win this year's TOP OSCAR HONORS, by any "beans" necessary!

In 1972, Hannibal's first foray on the silver screen "tucked away" the top five awards, a feat which has been accomplished only thrice in OSCAR history!

Will "Hannibal Rising" make it a two-peat for the ghost with the most??

OSCARSPECTIVE: The Pelican Brief: The first 25 years

WILD HOGS aren't the only animal on the menu this week.

Like a fine wine, some movies get better with age. 25 years on, one such movie, THE PELICAN BRIEF, has finally reached vintage. Vintner ALAN J. PAKULA (CONSENTING ADULTS), found anything but SOUR GRAPES with an all-star cast including JAMES SIKKING (FEVER PITCH), WILLIAM ATHERTON (RAVEN HAWK), and ROBERT CULP (COLUMBO: COLUMBO GOES TO COLLEGE) and a story based on perenial Hollywood playboy JOHN GRISHAM'S (CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS) best-selling autobiography.

The anniversary festivities in LOS ANGELES were paused Sunday in remembrance of the death of PAKULA a mere four years following the film's release and just days before he was due to receive his LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT OSCAR. PAKULA met a similar fate to his film's protagonist in 1997 when a metal pipe lying on the road flew into the windshield of his car. Even as DVD sales reach TERMINAL VELOCITY, OSCAR lovers are asking who THE PELICAN BRIEF CURSE will strike next.

OBPSF Review: These "Wild Hogs" Are Rooting for OSCAR!

Audiences are squealing for "Wild Hogs," the #1 grossing movie in America! Featuring Billy Crystal, Daniel Stern, and the late Bruno Kirby, it's the tale of four buddies who cope with impotence and obesity by getting a real "snort" of the open road! Mark my words: this fall, these "Hogs" will be rolling around in their own ACADEMY HONORS!