Charlton Heston: The Omega Man of the Hour

Even usually indifferent Oscar had to shed a tear this weekend at the news that the final TOUCH OF EVIL had finally struck THE OMEGA MAN. Known for his popular cameo on TV's FRIENDS, this BUCANEER's performances made EARTHQUAKEs as the entire industry became SOYLENT GREEN with envy.

An already reeling Holywood has BEN HURting from several other famous deaths in recent weeks, so all eyes have remained on his estate to see what they PLAN-ET OF THE APES for the funeral. Here at OSCAR BUZZ we'd like to EL-u-CID-ate on what we think America's favorite funny man would have suggested we do in our time of need: JULIUS SEIZE-AR the day!

And if anyone thinks otherwise, you'll need to pry these words from OUR COLD DEAD HANDS!

Mr. Heston: may the buzz be with you.

OBPSF is Under Construction!

November 6th, 2007, OBPSF joined it's brothers and sisters in the Writer's Guild of America on STRIKE! Yesterday, we heard that the strike ended in FEBRUARY! Before you GUFFAW at our GAFFE, wrap your ears around this: We're back!

SHIAGATE ENTERS HOUR SIXTY-ONE

AMERICA HOLDS ITS BREATH. Will ShiaPet explain his LeBEEF with Walgreens?

One things for sure: The WINDY CITY is about to get a whole lot breezier.

UPDATE: Could this SHIA'S new last name be ISLAM? And could this change of faith be a TRANSFORMER-ATION that leads to Oscar GOLD?

Sorry--we can't think of a good pun; Jerry Steinfield has new movie about BEES!!

BOX OFFICE BUZZ REPORT!!! Jerry Steinfield's unheralded and totally unpromoted nature documentary "BEES: THE MOVIE" dominated this weekend's ticket report, flying under the radar to sting all competitors! SLEEPER HIT OF THE SUMMER?? Watch out WINGED MIGRATION, there's a new guy in sky!!!

OBPSF Looks Back: A One-Year Anniversary Special Buzztrospective Week of Buzzblogging

It's no "TS" -- buzzfanatics have discovered that April ain't the cruelest month; it's a five-way tie between June, July, August, September, and October!!

True enough. Those months OBPSF went temporarily offline, as yours truly attended the prestigyuss CANS FILM FEST-O-VILLE on the righteous shores of Cans, New Jersey! So much BUZZ swirled around the Fest that your trusty correspondent fell victim to a rare and, in most instances, totally untreatable BUZZATONIC COMA!!! (Additional resources on this tragic condition can be found here.) But YC has returned to the world of the wakeful with this pronouncement: I HAVE SEEN OSCAR FUTURE AND ITS NAME IS ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL FROM GAME PLANS ALSO FEATURING ROCKY "THE DWAYNE" JOHNSON. This adorable moppet is like CRASH! and SHINDLER'S LIST rolled into one!!

As for our comrade in buzz, "I'm With Oscar!", he's had his own "big shits boppin'" (as rapster and BUZZWORTHY crossover sensation T-Eye would say). Let's just say he recently SAW* a worthily spooooooooooooky OSCAR!ccessor to THE SILENCE AND THE LAMBS!!!

And our triumphant return to the world of BUZZ comes on an auspishuss date -- OUR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY BIRTHDAY! Prepare yourself for a week of NEARLY DEAFENING OSCAR BUZZ, with some additional surprises too!!

*(It was SAW IV!!!!!!)

BUZZTASTIC: Move over Bernie Mac, we've JOHN HEARD that theres a new new Spencer Tracey in town!

Move over traditional ZODIAC, it looks like 2007 is turning out to be the year of the CAVEMAN!

Move over GEORGE LOPEZ, it looks like ABC has decided to start busting a different STEREOTYPE.

Move over, move over, move over, move over!

IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!

OBPSF SEMI-EXCLUSIVE!! TRAVOLTA'S CAREER BOUND FOR FIFTH RENAISSANCE???

John Travolta, who rode into this year determined to pig out on Academy honors, isn't relenting one bit!

First, he'll slip on the same generously embosomed latex fat suit that shot HOGS leather buddy Martin Laurence all the way from BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE to the box-office big leagues for the screen-to-stage-to-screen adaptation of Jonny Water's kitsch klassic HAIRDO!

Second, he'll team up with eternally relevant shtick behemoth Robin Williams for the heartwarming dudes-raising-kids comedy OLD DOGS!

Third (and still early on the line in the rumor mill) ... could presidential hopeful Mitt Romney's startling declaration of his love for Elron Hubburb's BATTLEFIELD: EARTH be anything but a call for critical re-appraisal? Right now, this Mitt (ironically!!!) could not be more hot to the touch! (And has quite a HAIRDO himself!)

If Romney's BUZZ and Travolta's join forces, the sound could drown out the sobs of a million orphans!!