Even usually indifferent Oscar had to shed a tear this weekend at the news that the final TOUCH OF EVIL had finally struck THE OMEGA MAN. Known for his popular cameo on TV's FRIENDS, this BUCANEER's performances made EARTHQUAKEs as the entire industry became SOYLENT GREEN with envy.
An already reeling Holywood has BEN HURting from several other famous deaths in recent weeks, so all eyes have remained on his estate to see what they PLAN-ET OF THE APES for the funeral. Here at OSCAR BUZZ we'd like to EL-u-CID-ate on what we think America's favorite funny man would have suggested we do in our time of need: JULIUS SEIZE-AR the day!
And if anyone thinks otherwise, you'll need to pry these words from OUR COLD DEAD HANDS!
Mr. Heston: may the buzz be with you.
